lilsum4 (lilsum4 ) wrote,

Writing smut

I don't usually go around giving writing advice because, well, I'm not qualified to tell someone else what they can and should write. I pretty much only have three rules I can stand behind with great authority:

1. Every character's dialogue should be on its own line
2. Adding a space between your paragraphs makes your stuff easier for us to read on a computer screen
3. Your spelling is never as good as you think it is -- which is why spell-check was invented

But lately, something's been bugging me and I just want to throw it out there as some friendly advice regarding writing smut.

Now, I've read (and written) my share of smut. I've read some *fabulous* smut. I've read explicit smut and romantic smut and just hinting at it smut. Even when characters are going for something that makes me quirk an eyebrow, I think "y'know, whatever floats your boat. You go for it, fanfic character!"

But there is one thing, ONE THING, that whenever I read it it throws me off and suddenly the scene is no longer believable.
Doesn't matter if two people are happily shagging atop an exploding volcano -- I will believe it and ship that shit until THIS: a woman is just about to achieve orgasm, and she calls a halt to the proceedings to do something different.

People, this doesn't happen. Think about all the hard work that goes into getting to orgasm for most women-- the right maneuvers, and patience, and the right headspace and confidence.  Because orgasm is not guaranteed! So, you've got everything going your way and you decide to stop and switch?! NO! No, my good friends, you gotta let your female character have her orgasm, and THEN they can switch it to doggy style, or against the wall, or she goes down on her partner, or she puts on the strap on. I mean, there's no reason for her to stop right before! She can have another one! It's not like she's gonna have to wait 20 minutes and play a round of cards.

In reality, if you're with a partner (ehem, Ten) and he's been working hard with that oral fixation of his (and, oh, let's just say you're Donna,) you're not gonna stop him after all that hard work THE SECOND BEFORE YOU ORGASM and be like "I'ma gonna stop you here, honey, cuz I've got a better idea -- let's build us some finger puppets, they turn me on."  No! And quite frankly he'd be annoyed that all that hard work was for nothing.

Now, I don't mean to offend any fellow writer who may have written a scene as described above. Believe me, it doesn't mean I stop reading -- good smut is hard to find, I'm not gonna let one little nitpick ruin it! But it does make me stop and have to mentally re-write it in my head so it goes from  "She was just about to cry out in ecstasy when she pulled back, and shimmied down his body", to "She cried out in ecstasy, cheered and fist-pumped, and then shimmied down his body."

So give it a passing thought next time you're writing some smut, and ask yourself, "would I stop a partner there?" and if you would (because you're stark, raving mad), then by all means go for it!

Tags: random, writing advice
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